Black, Blue, and Gray

“Black, Blue, and Gray”, is the second track of Tension & Release, and I think it may be the most important.

This song broke a barrier, or as I like to say, it “broke a portal” in my heart and mind. All of my songs before this one never quite expressed my heart like this one does. It takes all of the intensity and raw energy and expels it like the piercing cry of a newborn child. At least, that’s what I felt when this song fell out of the sky-a “rebirth” of sorts.

BBG started with a picture in my head. A very specific clear picture that came to mind several months before I attended the CMC in Nashville. I knew I needed to write about it, but I never quite found the “right” words or melodies just yet.

The picture kind of looked like this:


An old, abandoned, condemned brick building, alone in a wide open field. I’m kind of shocked that I found this picture on the Internet-it fits the picture in my brain almost perfectly!

I lived in a brick fortress spiritually for a long time. I was blind in so many ways-cold religion and fear shielded my eyes in darkness, and I was bruised with “blues” and “grays” so to speak, because I never considered myself “good enough”.

Until one day, the Truth in my heart, the Truth of the Father’s love, broke through every lie, every twisted thing, and immersed me in His warmth, peace, and love. I was free. Sunlight and grace filled my soul fully, and everything in my Heart was unleashed and I’ve never been the same!

Love is about freedom. Freedom from fear, and freedom from a “performance-based” life. I’m so thankful for this journey. Thank you God.

I see a brick building

Sitting in an open field

No light passes through it

Only what the dark will yield

Black, blue, black, blue, and gray

Black, blue, black, blue, and gray

I locked myself in, and I locked myself out

I shut off my brain, and I shut my heart down

But I won’t shrink back and I won’t second guess

My heart beats loud and it’s pounding in my chest

All this time, I couldn’t see the light of day

All this time, I’ve been living in black, blue, and gray

Breaking through the cold mortar

Scared to see what’s really outside

Despite my fear, I make the first step

I can truly say that freedom is mine

Live, love, life, love, and peace

Life, love, life, love, and peace

The light, the sun, the warmth

The purest love I’ve ever known

The fear is gone, the shame is gone

The purest love I’ve ever known

Now, I want to know your story. Have you ever “lived” in a “brick building”? And somehow, you found your way out?

Listen to “Black, Blue, and Gray” on my Facebook page:

Download Tension & Release for FREE on Noisetrade:




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